Lets have an honest conversation about the big O

Theory of Her

NZ brand Theory of Her is all about female sexual empowerment. Image supplied.

Let’s have an honest conversation about sex and the unicorn that is the female orgasm, and I want to start by sharing some stats with you.

Did you know that only 25 percent of women will orgasm during vaginal intercourse, so no, it’s not “just you.” To be more specific, about 50 percent of women sometimes orgasm during sex, 20 percent seldom orgasm during sex and 5 percent never orgasm during sex, like…ever. These stats are solidified by multiple case studies spanning over 80 years, so let’s just say, plain old intercourse is generally not the key to getting women off.

For some ridiculous reason, women talking about their sexual wants and needs has been frowned upon for many, many years. This has led to gender inequality in the bedroom, which means, to be frank, that women are getting the short end of the stick in bed. However, this gender inequality isn’t biological or natural, it’s learned behaviour and it is totally rectifiable. The idea that sex ends when a man reaches orgasm is total bollocks (pun intended) and a lot of the time, us women are left naked, aroused and disappointed thinking “what about me?” Here is where communication and education come into the picture. Talking with your sexual partner or even showing them what you like may be the only way you are going to get what you want. After all, people are not mind readers, so opening up a dialogue with your sexual partner is an important part of the journey to the big O.

However, orgasm doesn’t have to come from sex alone, nor does it have to come from a partner. In fact, some women would say that their best orgasms come from self-pleasure *gasp.* Again, another uncomfortable topic for some, but “cummon” ladies – it’s 2020, the last couple of years have been about female empowerment and what is more empowering than a good toe-curling, back-arching, screaming, orgasm? And actually, orgasms are not just designed to make you feel great, some studies have shown that orgasms can improve your immune system and your general health. When you orgasm you release hormones such as Oxytocin and DHEA, which are said to have protective qualities against cancers and heart disease, not to mention the mental health benefits, so some would even say “having an orgasm a day keeps the doctor away.”

I recently discovered a female-run, New Zealand based brand that is all about female sexual empowerment. Theory of Her is run by two sisters, Cat and Sarah, who saw a gap in the market for sexual enhancement products that weren’t full of nasty, synthetic chemicals. So, in 2019 they launched their first product – a pleasure spray for women, made from organic, essential oils called Mint & Bush. Mint & Bush contains peppermint oil and lavender flower water, both of which help to increase sensitivity in your erogenous zones, promote natural lubrication and heighten sensations, ultimately helping you reach orgasm. Cat & Sarah also run a community of women called “The Pleasurey,” where they have around 8000 members, who can share anonymously and open up conversations about topics that may be uncomfortable to discuss otherwise. I sat down and had a chat with Cat from Theory of Her and asked her about the brand and how it came to be.

Theory of Her

Theory of Her Mint & Bush spray. Image supplied.

How did Theory of Her come to be?
My little sister has always suffered from skin problems growing up. She used to have really bad eczema and had to wear these white gloves with thick vaseline underneath to prevent her hands from peeling raw. It was pretty bad, and – as a result – she’s always been discerning about the products she puts on her skin and body and tries to opt for natural ingredients wherever possible.

She found that most female sex & pleasure enhancement products on the market, such as lubes, were full of synthetic chemicals and not things you’d even trust in your mouth. So, she started to play around with a recipe that used peppermint essential oil and created a couple of bottles in the kitchen one day. When I asked her what it was for (enhancing sensations and orgasms) I instantly fell in love.

What’s interesting though, is that I connected with the product though another benefit. Peppermint in your erogenous zones not only acts as a stimulant but also leaves a feeling of “cleanliness” – it’s like skiing butt naked down a Swiss Alp! When I was 14 years old a boy in my class went down on me for what was my first sexual encounter, the next day at school he proceeded to tell everyone that I smelled down there and it scarred me for most of my adult life. I would always try to “freshen” up before a sexual encounter and felt self-conscious when men went down on me. The spray inadvertently acted as a confidence booster – something that you could carry around with you discreetly and use when the moment was right – without needing baths or baby wipes, which are actually terrible for your vagina.

We all get a little insecure when it comes to our smell and taste down there. Unfortunately, some of us are so stunted by it that we can’t ever fully enjoy sex or oral play with others so we wanted to create a product that would complement a woman’s natural pheromones, not overwhelm it. The main ingredient, peppermint is celebrated for its antiseptic properties, so you don’t have to worry about weird bacteria growth down there when you use it. We’ve also made sure that Mint & Bush is PH balanced (4.8 – 5.0) so it’s an ideal complement to our natural feminine cultures.

Tell us a little about yourself and your sister, Sarah?
We don’t have sexology or medical backgrounds, in fact, my little sister is a filmmaker by trade and I run a couple of online businesses. We launched Theory of Her simply as we saw a gap in the market and a desire to connect with fellow females and start having the important conversations we wished we had growing up.

Tell us about the Theory of Her community?
The Pleasurey was created in 2018 and now has 8,000 women inside. The staple of the group is our anonymous submission forms where members can ask their fellow ladies questions relating to love, sex, and pleasure in total anonymity. We get about 2-3 submissions per day through this forum with a multitude of topics that may be uncomfortable for some to talk about face to face with others.

Can we expect any more products from Theory of Her?
We are currently working on launching our second product which is a natural lube, that uses the same stimulating properties as peppermint. So stayed tuned.

To find out more about Theory of Her and their amazing sexual pleasure products, you can check out their website and Instagram.

This story is brought to you in partnership with Theory of Her.

Theory of Her

Images supplied.

Related Articles

Pin It on Pinterest